Humans and Tigers
by mischievous101
Summary: Artemis and Holly will never give up their friendship. Even if they have to go through the Council's tedious trial. You've got to feel sorry from them. The council, I mean... Now a two-shot!
1. Chapter 1

Humans and Tigers

_By Clary and Bunnie_

He was a criminal, she was a cop.

He was a human, she was a fairy.

So many things could go wrong with their friendship, according to the Council. But one Artemis Fowl and a Holly Short refused to back down.

"And what makes you think we're going to go along quietly with this?" shouted Holly angrily.

"Well, there's nothing against it in the Book," replied Cahartez with a shrug.

"Chairman, I realize that there is nothing against this in the Book, but what is your basis for separating these people from each other?" Vinyaya asked.

"Easy! He is a human!" screeched the random pixie intern. "He is a danger to the People, a manipulator, a thief, it's written in his kind's history, their genes-"

Holly noticed Artemis twitch briefly. _Uh oh_, she thought. _Just don't screw this up, Mud Boy_. _Or I will make sure you won't have to regret it. Or rather,_ can't.

"Please continue, sir," Artemis said calmly. His eyes said otherwise, though. They screamed ice cold fury and revenge. Butler stopped checking under the chairs briefly to glare at the offending pixie. He then resumed the safety check.

The pixie gulped and sat back down. "T-t-that is all, th-th-thanks..." He then proceeded to faint. Literally.

Holly kicked Artemis from under the vole curry-covered table. "What in Frond's name do you think you're doing, Mud Boy?" she hissed angrily.

Artemis stayed silent, hoping she would stop and realize her situation.

"_Fowl_! Answer me!"

Apparently not. He shot her a warning look. Vinyaya coughed.

"If we could please continue the discussion, Major Short?"

Holly blushed. "Of course, Commander." She gave Artemis a glare, to his surprise.

"Do you have anything to add, Fowl?" Cahartez sighed. "Not that it would matter, but unfortunately, the Book says I am to give you a fair say in-"

"_All beings, whether faerie or not_

_Are to be given a fair say_

_And to be judged_

_By all of the lot_," Artemis recited. _The fairies probably ran out of rhymes in this one_, he concluded, _but they were bound to at some point in the Book_.

Holly elbowed Artemis. Hard. When he turned around and winked, Holly knew he was up to something. _What're you up to this time, Mud Boy?_

Said Mud Boy turned to Cahartez. "Mr. Cahartez," he started. Cahartez winced at the icy cold tone. You know, the one that would make you think the Arctic waters were warmer, and so on..."May I inquire why you must be so biased? I'm completely positive I've paid back most, if not all, of my debts to your People."

The pixie who had fainted earlier suddenly sat up. "Because Mud Men are insensitive, greedy, annoying, disgusting cowpogs and they-" A/N: This part had to be censored because of the number of fairy insults/swears. Sorry for the inconvenience.

"Well I'd never," huffed the insulted medic-warlock. She proceeded to stab the pixie with the sleep-syringe. Fortunately, this had the desired effect. Too bad she couldn't keep him from snoring, though.

Cahartez coughed. "What the intern was trying to say is that your kind, Fowl, cannot be trusted for whatever reason and no matter how long they have been in contact with the People. You proved that yourself when you manipulated Ms. Short here to- how do I say this?- kiss you."

At this, the then-unconscious pixie woke up. "Oh my freaking Frond-"

The other Council members (excluding Vinyaya) gasped on cue. Holly blushed a deep shade of red. Oh, how Root would've been proud.

Butler opened his mouth to speak, but Artemis stopped him. He breathed in and out, then sighed. His face had nothing but seriousness written all over it. He stood up.

"Don't you think a fairy's reaction to a tiger is the same as a human's to a fairy?" Artemis suggested.

A very intelligent "Eh?" came from the Council members.

"A-a-are you threatening me, Mud Kid?" The pixie backed away slowly, causing the chair to scratch the once pristine, white marble floor.

"No, I'm merely suggesting a metaphor." He looked innocent, but anyone who knew him well could see that evil glint in his eye. "All that I am saying, dear Council, is that maybe after all these years your stereotypes may have expired." A smirk. "You fairies act like we're tigers."

Vinyaya nodded before Cahartez could interrupt. "Please continue," she said. Maybe the Mud Boy had a point. If not, his and Holly's friendship would go down the drain.

"A tiger is willing to attack anything that happens to come too close into its territory, to attack anyone that threatens its cubs. However, the common human misconception is that it is attacking for its own gain. It is often stereotyped as a killer, or a mass murderer, even though technically it has done nothing wrong. It is hunted, even though we now know the truth, because of its instincts and legacy which it has no control over. In retrospect, though. it is innocent."

Artemis smirked again and sat down. A few moments passed while the Council members processed this, then-

"We are nothing like that," protested Cahartez. "How dare you compare us to you Mud Men!"

Even Holly looked scandalized.

"Just saying," Artemis shrugged. He stood up and walked to the door.

"Anyone can achieve their goal through certain methods, so your decision will not be a hindrance to me. Please, go on ahead and decide. But don't say I warned you." He smiled _that_ smile and walked out of the room.

Holly shivered. D'Arvit. She'd _never_ get used to him.

**A/N: **

_**Artemis: This is a misconception.**_

_**Clary: -.- Now why is that?**_

_**Holly: Yeah right Fowl, why is that?**_

_**Clary: How cute you two will actually save your friendship.**_

_**Artemis and Holly: Never mind.**_

**Bunnie: Okay, I'm going to cut Clary's note there. It gets tediously long when I don't. Really.**

**So, anyway, how was our first AF fanfic? Not so bad to make you puke, me hopes? Please review! Random reviewers get a free, virtual cookie made by Arty! (if I was you, I wouldn't eat it.)**

**Oh, and this is Clary's debut on . So, please answer these: Should we add the epilogue? Are we so bad at this we should drop dead on the spot, and never touch the keyboard again? And, Clary adds, do you like her?**

**Clary: You better like me, you'd better. *glares***

**Bunnie: Stop making the A/N long! =.=' Well, please review, and thanks for reading! **

**P.S. If five or more people want us to add the epilogue, we will. **


	2. Epilogue

**A/N: Yay! Okay, so, we got enough requests to put up an epilogue. Did I spell epilogue correctly? ..I think I did. Yeah. I did. So, since Clary's too lazy to help me edit anything *hmph* I'm going to be all alone on this A/N...so, R&R! :D**

Humans and Tigers (Epilogue)

_By Bunnie and Clary (but mostly Bunnie. :( )_

_If the council doesn't stop us from seeing each other, Holly will surely be angry enough to cut off all contact with me..._

Artemis sighed. _I sure hope I don't end up in the ICU after this._  
Artemis Fowl was currently wandering on the overpopulated streets of Haven. The citizens who spotted him shot terrified glances at him, then scurried away. Others were plain glaring...at least until they caught wind of Butler in the shadows. 

While he was walking, the sound of a Neutrino's safety latch being removed was heard. D'Arvit. 

"D'Arvit, Fowl!" Holly's voice screamed. 

The surrounding fairies gathered around to watch. Well, until they again caught a glimpse of Butler in the background. When they did, they disappeared faster than Butler could get out of a fluffy pink miniskirt. 

Holly approached him, fists clenched. "I thought we agreed that the Council would still be sane after the trial!" 

"They are sane," replied Artemis smoothly. "Just terrified, that's all." 

Holly face palmed. "I thought you had changed for the better, Mud Boy." 

Artemis grinned. "You should know me better then, Holly." 

Holly sighed. She should. She tried to change the subject. "Well, what do you think of the pixie?" 

Artemis gave her a look. "Do I really need to answer that?" 

Right on cue, said pixie approached Artemis and Holly. Speak of the devil.  
I've come to deliver this piece of news." He grinned madly. "The Council has decided to prohibit _any _human contact with the People, and a mind-wipe on Fowl-" He didn't finish his statement, though, because at that precise moment the medic that was tending to him earlier shot him with a tranquilizer dart. "D'Arvit, pixie, first that and now this..." she mumbled. Something about escaping, an asylum and crazy people was mentioned. The pixie was then dragged by the foot to who-knows-where. 

Holly & Artemis were staring in open mouthed horror. Actually, just Holly. Her mouth was shaped like a perfect 'O'. Artemis was just...well, raising an uncaring eyebrow. Nothing unusual.

"This is just your fault, Artemis, I know it..." she mumbled.

"We'll figure something out, Holly." Artemis replied. 

Vinyaya approached them. "You two may proceed to the Council room, so-" 

"You can't do this!" Holly cried. "This is just not fair!" 

"Err, what is not fair Major Short?" Vinyaya asked, confused. 

_Courtesy at all times._ "Well, Commander, the pixie intern said that-" 

Vinyaya tapped her foot impatiently. "Is this some sort of game, Holly? Are you going to come or not?" 

"The intern already gave us the results..." 

"The intern? I thought he was in the loony ward?" She left to check. 

A moment of silence passed. Then...

"Oh," mumbled Holly sheepishly. 

"Eh, we should get going, Holls..." _Eh? That wasn't even a word! What were the Fowls coming to?_

"Right." They hurried back to the Council room. 

"All in favor of separating these two raise your hand," Foaly said.  
Cahartez raised his hand..

"...hello...ahem." 

The other Council members didn't even hear him. One thought was all that filled their tiny brains: _Fowl winked at us. N-n-not good..._  
"All against the Chairman..." Foaly coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'the idiot'. "raise your hand!" 

The other Council members raised their hands, trembling.  
"Wha-but-I-I thought you guys liked vole curry?" spluttered Cahartez. 

Artemis raised an eyebrow at him. "What was that, Chairman?" 

"N-n-nothing, Fowl. Nothing that would matter to you, anyway."

Artemis just smirked slightly, aware of what Cahartez was talking about.

"W-w-well," one elf stuttered, "Fowl d-did save the fairy world..." his voice heightened to a squeak.  
Holly resisted the urge to raise a fist in the air. "Yes! We did it, Arty!" she whispered gleefully. 

Arty? Artemis thought. He was then smothered in a tight hug... 

"Yes, uh, Holly..." Artemis mumbled awkwardly. He suddenly smiled. "Arty?" 

Holly immediately jumped back. "Don't push your luck, Mud Boy," she warned him seriously. 

Everyone laughed (some nervously). Everyone except Cahartez. 

"I thought that you fairies liked the vole curry!" 

Artemis shook his head. _Amateurs_, he thought.

_Manipulating somebody isn't as simple as vole curry._

Right then, he smiled his vampire smile, unnoticed by all. Well, except, yet again, Cahartez.

Little did he know, that the next day he would have to be sent to therapy.

For 3 consecutive weeks.

_**The End!**_

**A/N: So, how was it? *suddenly sobs* I feel so lonely without Clary making the A/N long! Waaaaah! T^T**

**People: *look at her weirdly***

**Bunnie: Ahem. Anyway. So, how was it? *coughs* It doesn't help that I wasn't able to get a third party to check this, so... please review! ^_^ **

**P.S. You know those virtual cookies I promised last time? Sorry to say, Arty incinerated them in the oven. Does anyone want me to send them in a virtual pouch?**

**Holly: *coughs covered in soot* Moral of the story: Never ever ****ever**** ask Artemis Fowl to cook. Ever.**


End file.
